Determination IS > Motivation

Lately, my motivation has been lacking. Blame it on the weather, blame it on pregnancy, blame it on laziness - the end result is the same. I'm not motivated to do more than the very absolute least amount possible. The "I want to do" list was getting longer and longer in my head, but the "I accomplished" list was growing pretty dank and stagnant.

So in an effort to actually get up and get things done, I gave up on motivation. Yep, traded that good for nothing long absent "friend" in for a newer model - determination. And wow what we have accomplished in the past two days!

With determination and a WRITTEN list, I have managed to clean the house, climb and conquer the laundry mountain, take the dry cleaning in, get our taxes done, mop the floors, organize the office, complete the grocery shopping, get a bunch of work done, play with Levi, and lots of other smaller miscellaneous tasks. All within the past two days.

Now, I know there are those of you that are probably thinking "that's what I do in a single day, what's she bragging about?!" And to you I say - "Congratulations! You are way more determined, ambitious and motivated than I am! Wanna come hang out at my house next?"

Yes, there still are things on my to-do list (bake bread, figure out dinner, re-make the beds I've stripped), but I fear that determination has decided that since it's late afternoon on a Friday, he is done helping me for the week. I'll muddle through the bed making (after all, we have to have sheets to sleep on tonight) and I'll eventually figure out dinner, but the rest of my list and whatever else I manage to think of that needs to be done will have to wait until next week. I mean, really, it's not procrastination if it's not immediately needed, right?

And besides, Levi is awake from his nap and there are Nerf guns to be played with!

Want to Make God Laugh at You? Make Your Own Plans.

Life is not fair. I learned this early on. No real experiences come to mind, but I do remember whining "it's not fair!" many times to my mom only to hear "Life isn't fair." And as much as it irritated me then, she was (and still is) right. If you think life is fair - you must have figured out some secret that I have yet to learn. In my experience, the minute I start to think life is fair or that I have all my plans laid out perfectly - Someone Else tends to laugh at me.

Just when I thought that we were going to have a good, stress free year, Someone laughed big time.

• We found out we're expecting baby #2 - a blessing and an answer to prayer for sure, but now what? Will it be an easy pregnancy? How will delivery go this time around? Will Levi adjust to someone else being held in Mommy's arms? Will I be able to split my time between the wee ones without one feeling a loss? And the questions go on and on. 
• Next, Brian is faced with job issues. He still has a job, but it's different now. He's not happy in his job. I can't find the words to tell him it will all be okay. Now though, after several days of tension and frustration, he's come to grips with it all and seems excited about looking around for whatever new opportunities are in store for us. 
• Then there's the financial stress. We make it all work now, but how will that change with a potential new job and baby?
• And then we have the weather stress. This morning we slid down our driveway. All 140 feet of it. Like a slip 'n slide we used to play on as kids. Thankfully, Brian did some magic steering, the angels did some pushing and God put the snow bank and gravel in just the right place. (Now that's teamwork!) Needless to say, I am oh so very ready for spring to get here.

And that's a brief glimpse of what our year has been like so far. Nothing overly exciting individually, but combine it all together and it turns into a small ball of stress. :)

But it's just reminded me (once again) that life isn't fair. It's not supposed to be. Life is a learning, adjusting, changing, growing process. And just when we start to get comfortable, God reminds us of that. Think your life is easy? Maybe you aren't challenging yourself. Think you have your plans set for the week, month, year? Just wait - your chance at making God laugh is coming!

Quiet Time - Everyone Needs It

Many, many times in the past I've found myself just wishing for some quiet time. These moments of wishing come at all times: when with family, when with friends, at work, at parties - the list could go on and on. It's never been because I don't like the people I'm with (okay, work might be the exception to that), it's just a need for quiet. Time when I can reflect on my thoughts, think about choices or options before me, take a few minutes to indulge in something I want to do, spend some time conversing with God, or even just relish a lack of stimulation and noise.

Lately, I've been able to see that same desire in Levi. Take today for example. He got up waaaaaay to early for him. He was awake by 6:00 a.m.. I, unfortunately, was also awake and working due to some pregnancy induced insomnia. Yay. Anyway, Little Man was up early. And he was happy. He was all smiles, giggles and snuggles (for a brief 2.5 seconds) before he was off to explore his room and see what could be moved, played with, returned to its correct location, whatever. By 8:00 a.m., however, he was ready for a short nap. Then, he was up and happy all over again by 9:30 a.m. Now, let's fast forward to 11:00 a.m. He's a miserable grouch. So, I put him back in his bed and am listening to him on the monitor. He's not sleeping. He doesn't have any intent to sleep it seems. What he is doing is talking to himself. Happily. If I could understand what he is so busily chatting about, I'm sure it would be a stream of his personal thoughts and/or a reflection of what he's done so far today. Did he want a nap when he got so grouchy? Nope. But he sure did want some quiet time away from mommy.

If I didn't understand the need for quiet myself I might feel hurt by that, but I'm not. Instead, I'm happy that he knows when he needs a few moments to himself. And the bonus to him needing quiet? I get a few minutes of quiet myself!

Let's get this party started!

This spring/summer/and now into fall I've decided that I need to get back into shape. Now, I can't use the "round is a shape" argument because I've never been round really - unless you count when I was 9 months pregnant. But - I've been on a mission to abolish flab and create tone and definition.

I started with the 30-Day Shred. I loved that video series. It works well. By the end of it, I saw stomach muscles I hadn't seen in well over a year. And when doing jumping jacks and things my butt no longer felt like it was going to bounce or fall out of my shorts. Lovely mental picture, I know, but you get the point. My only complaint - I got bored with it soon after doing 8-10 days of each phase.

Next, I moved to P90X. DH and some friends were doing it, so I thought why not. I chose to do the lean program simply because I didn't want to end up looking like the Incredible Hulk-woman. The program is HARD - but then, it's supposed to be. It's amazingly effective too. The downside? Each workout is 1-1.5 hours long. Not bad if you have the time, but when you are trying to split your work time with your exercise time while baby is napping/sleeping - it gets a little rough. And ab workouts with a wee one crawling over you just don't seem to have the same effect. I would highly recommend the program to anyone who is wanting to see amazing, fairly fast results.


After that, I moved to the 10-Minute Trainer (another Beachbody routine). I liked that one. It was very similar to the 30-Day Shred though in format and I soon got bored with it.

Fast forward a month and we're on to my next exercise program. This time I went with another Beachbody program - Turbo Jam. When trying to find a new program, I was looking for a shorter length of time while still feeling like I'm pushing myself. So what did I go with? A dance based cardio program. Sounds easy enough, right?

Ha! It might be if this girl had coordination or at the very least a sense of rhythm. I'm having a lot of fun with it, but it's definitely not something I'm executing with finesse that's for sure! The best part? When you're doing the moves you don't really think about all the muscles you are using. As a matter of fact, you don't even think about it when you are done. But then, you realize when trying to crawl off the floor or out of bed several hours later you hurt in places you don't even remember using! Not a bad hurt, but a stiff, yep, sure used that muscle kind of hurt. I don't even think I felt like this when doing P90X!

Maybe by the end of the program I'll be able to "bust a move" and not look like a flapping chicken. But hey, I'm having fun doing it and that's what matters!

Change in priorities

Before I had L, I remember hearing myself say that I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom. I would "need" to have things to do that included deadlines. Structure is a huge part of my life. Having goals to reach is important to me. I didn't think that staying at home would be challenging enough. I mean, I realized I'd have a little one to care for, but really - how much time could that take. I mean, they nap right? Plus, the extra income from me working full-time in addition to DH was really nice.

Fast forward a few years and here we are. I'm not truly a full-time SAHM (stay-at-home mom), it's more a combination of a SAHM and a WAHM (work-at-home mom). And, I can honestly say I love it. I actually get a little sad on Tuesday night when I'm having to get things ready for the next day when I am in the office. Not because I'm worried about L. He stays with a family from church when I'm in the office, so I know he's well cared for. But I miss seeing his smiles, hearing him talk while he plays and destroys the house, listening to him crawl while holding toys in each hand and giggle while he's running away from me as we play chase.

So - I guess you could say I've changed my mind on what it is I can and cannot do. I've altered my definition of deadlines. Now, instead of having to have a project complete by a set time, I am content with -- no, correct that -- I am more than content with set meal, play and nap times. I work on my work (i.e. paying jobs) in between the times that L is awake. Yes, it means I get up really early - but it also means that I can devote my undivided attention to teaching and learning from the newest man in my life. Yeah, we don't have as much money flowing through the bank account each month but the bills are still paid, there's food on the table, and there's even some fun money for playing and covering those unexpected expenses.

I'm still working on the having dinner on the table when DH gets home thing. Some nights I do, other nights not so much. Sometimes the house is neat and tidy by evening time, but most times not. I think that probably bothers me more than DH though.  I am, however, getting quite efficient at cleaning spaghetti out of hair and understanding baby babble. Life is good.

The end of the week ahhh's

You know how at the end of your week, you can usually sit back and just relax for a few minutes? The house is clean, the menu is planned and/or made, the laundry mountain has been concurred for a brief period of time. It's just - an ahhhhh moment.


Well - my house is getting there this week. As I sit here typing, my DH is busily vacuuming the house for me and L is following closely behind him (L LOVES the vacuum). Typically this time of the week I can sit down and smell the cleanliness of the house and laundry - if the dryer is still going that is.

This week - not so much. My house smells like a giant dill pickle. My MIL knows I like dill pickles, so she once bought me a can of Dill Pickle Pringles (okay, more than once). I will admit I tried them, but they were so overpowering and strong that I ended up throwing the canister away. Well - that's what my house smells like. A giant Dill Pickle Pringles can. Not exactly a heartwarming smell, but I'm hoping it means the pickles will taste good once done.

And hopefully the smell fades quickly. I want the clean smell back.

'Tis a Joy to be Simple

Yesterday while watching Levi play with his toys - and honestly anything else he could find that wasn't really a baby toy - I realized something. Life is simple.

Now, I realize that's not overly profound or anything, but think about it. How often do we make simple life decisions into these huge complicated issues? How often do we try to rationalize, justify, mold into a neat package something that is truly a simple yes or no type of decision? For example - Levi crawled into the kitchen to find something to play with. On his way, he saw the cat water and feeder. So, he decided to check them out. When he got there, he stopped, sat up, and then looked at me to see what I would do. I glanced over, told him to "make a good choice" (yes I realize my baby is only 9 months old, but this is something we've been going over for a while), and then he looked back at the dishes and decided that it would be more fun to go look out the sliding glass door. He didn't sit there and think - well, if I just touch it a little bit maybe I won't get in trouble. He didn't start to converse with me on the merits of touching or not touching the water (Yes. I realize he's only 9 months old and incapable of conversing with me at an intelligible level.). He didn't try to change my mind on the matter. He simply made a yes or no decision and went with it. Now this same event has happened many times before and he doesn't always make the same decision, but that's beside the point. He simply listened, made his decision and went on with life.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could all be like that? Listen to our Parent, make a decision and go on with life. Without the added baggage we all like to bring along. Just think how much more at peace we would be.