Change in priorities

Before I had L, I remember hearing myself say that I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom. I would "need" to have things to do that included deadlines. Structure is a huge part of my life. Having goals to reach is important to me. I didn't think that staying at home would be challenging enough. I mean, I realized I'd have a little one to care for, but really - how much time could that take. I mean, they nap right? Plus, the extra income from me working full-time in addition to DH was really nice.

Fast forward a few years and here we are. I'm not truly a full-time SAHM (stay-at-home mom), it's more a combination of a SAHM and a WAHM (work-at-home mom). And, I can honestly say I love it. I actually get a little sad on Tuesday night when I'm having to get things ready for the next day when I am in the office. Not because I'm worried about L. He stays with a family from church when I'm in the office, so I know he's well cared for. But I miss seeing his smiles, hearing him talk while he plays and destroys the house, listening to him crawl while holding toys in each hand and giggle while he's running away from me as we play chase.

So - I guess you could say I've changed my mind on what it is I can and cannot do. I've altered my definition of deadlines. Now, instead of having to have a project complete by a set time, I am content with -- no, correct that -- I am more than content with set meal, play and nap times. I work on my work (i.e. paying jobs) in between the times that L is awake. Yes, it means I get up really early - but it also means that I can devote my undivided attention to teaching and learning from the newest man in my life. Yeah, we don't have as much money flowing through the bank account each month but the bills are still paid, there's food on the table, and there's even some fun money for playing and covering those unexpected expenses.

I'm still working on the having dinner on the table when DH gets home thing. Some nights I do, other nights not so much. Sometimes the house is neat and tidy by evening time, but most times not. I think that probably bothers me more than DH though.  I am, however, getting quite efficient at cleaning spaghetti out of hair and understanding baby babble. Life is good.